I can’t believe Ruby is 6 months old already (last Thursday). Which also means her surgery is soon. As in next Tuesday, December 17th soon. That is the day her little heart will be repaired. The day they will open her chest and actually stop her heart and put her body on a bypass machine for 30-90 minutes. I’ve thought a lot about the bypass machine—at first it terrified me, but now I am truly in awe at what they can do. It really is amazing.
Oh my little baby—keep being strong. The last 6 months of Ruby’s life, she has gone to a doctor’s appointment every week to check her weight and her saturation level—sometimes we have had 2-3 appointments in a week (bless my other children for being such troopers and tagging along!). She’s had IV’s placed, blood work done, x-rays, echocardiograms, and will have more pre-op work done on Monday. It is so hard to watch your little one who just doesn’t understand what is going on. She has quite enjoyed her visits for the most part—it’s a little social call to her. Doctors and nurses walk in and she has been all smiles—until the last couple of times with the IV’s and blood work. The look on her face is so sad when they poke her. Especially because they haven’t been able to get them done with the first poke—her vein collapses and they start over on the other hand or arm. Yes, it’s sad. And only the beginning of a hard week ahead of us. Everyone keeps telling me they bounce back really quick—and I know she will.
When Bailey (my 5 year old) had surgery at 2 months old on her head, I remember thinking I was just going to lose it once we handed her over to the surgeons. Once we did, kissed her, and said our goodbyes, Dillon and I watched them walk through the doors with our little baby and we turned to go to the waiting room, holding hands as we walked. I was scared for her, and at times absolutely terrified with the thoughts of what they were doing, to be honest. But as we walked down the hall, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. When I mentioned it to Dillon, he said he felt the same way. I know that we will feel the same about our little Ruby after saying our goodbyes. Yes, it is really, really hard to think about her going through this. Really scary and yes, sometimes absolutely terrifying to think about the what-ifs. But we have so many people praying for her. We have been absolutely humbled by the outpouring of love for our family and Ruby Jane. And God will be there with us, and more importantly, with Ruby and the surgeons as they operate on her heart. And we feel peace even now as we prepare. We know it will be hard and we know there can be hiccups in the road. But we have faith that things will be how they should.
(thank you so much Abby for the shirt—it’s perfect!!!).
We are still praying that she will only have to have one surgery. As I’ve stated before (you can read more on her heart HERE), the average number of surgeries with Tetralogy of Fallot is 3 in their lifetime. We are really, really hoping this is it for her. She has done so well. Yes, she only weighs 12 lbs 7 oz (today), but she never had a blue spell—not one! She wasn’t on oxygen and didn’t have to take Lasix to control the fluid on her heart. She is seriously doing as well as she probably can with this heart defect. To me, that is a miracle! Besides her weight gain and a few signs of heart failure (we are talking gradual heart failure—a term that sounds awful and can be awful, but will hopefully be fixed after her surgery), you would never know she had a defect. Getting her heart repaired will hopefully mean a long and healthy life for her—one where she will not die at a young age due to her heart failing. One where she will hopefully be able to have her own family. And know what it is like to have such an overwhelming amount of love for the souls in her care.
Happy 6 months baby girl. You are such a blessing to us.