Sunday night I promised my kids that after they came home from school on Monday I would take them to the park with a large field so we could fly kites, if it was windy. Sunday, I was flying high and felt like I could conquer the world. The weather has been beautiful the past couple of days and that, in addition to just feeling happy and peaceful, was wonderful. Monday I was feeling much less so, for some reason. Life would be way too easy if we felt so happy and energetic all the time, right? Although I was able to hang out with one of my best friends and it was a great day, I felt lacking in my energy and attitude as a mom.
The kids came home from school and I wasn’t feeling up to taking them. But take them I did because I told them I would, and windy it was.
As we walked down the street, I thought how it wasn’t hard to take them even though 5 minutes before I thought it was. I knew we’d have a good time and it’d be a memory made. I knew my kids would smile and laugh, probably even fight a little, but we’d work it out and I’d be happy I took them. It’s funny how we sometimes fight against the things that are easy, but it’s the thought of work involved that can hold us back. Once you’re doing it, you’re fine.
I thought about parenthood as we flew those kites. I thought about how much I want these little kids to stay little forever because they are so fun and full of love for Dillon and I. I thought about our struggles and our successes together as a family. The kites would fly high, then dive down and crash. Being a mom feels like that. Sometimes I’m flying high and feeling great, and other days I crash and I crash hard. I can be too emotional, too easily upset, too quick to be angry with my children. Too much of everything I try to teach them not to be.
But there are other moments where things just work. The kids still fight, but they also have beautiful moments together. Happy memories that are almost always simple. Those days I can help them work out their problems without any bad emotion on my part. They help each other out. They are learning. I am learning.
I’m trying hard to focus on my goals as a parent, and how my every day thoughts and actions either help reach that goal or not. Parenting is hard. It’s emotional. It takes a lot of effort and energy and patience. I can only imagine how much those aspects will be emphasized the older my children get.
But these kids know they are loved. These kids know I’m not perfect and forgive me so quickly, because kids are amazing like that. As my sister says, to everything there is a season, and this is my season to be a mom! I have big plans to fly high longer, and not crash so hard when I fall.
Lovely!
I wish I had the words to tell you how lovely and just perfect this post is… The words and the pictures. I’ll just say that it made me feel less lonely somehow, which I didn’t even know I was feeling and which might be the best thing any writing or photography in any context can do. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Thank you for posting that. I had a horrible crash and burn day yesterday, one I would completely like to forget. But I really need to learn from it and learn to by more patient with my kids. It’s so hard to stay calm when I want to rip all my hair out, and it’s nice to hear that others deal with the crash sides of the story too.
Love it! Great job taking your kids out, even though you weren’t feeling like it.
and i am there with you. Somedays can be hard. It helps to reflect on parenting and see how you are doing and try to be better.
I totally get you. Right now it’s Spring Break for my kids so for two weeks my goal is to be with my children and make some memories. Teach them the stuff I want to teach them… You’ve got your priorities right, Christie!
Hi Christie, just stopping by to say how delightful your blog is. Thanks so much for sharing. I have recently found your blog and am now following you, and will visit often. Please stop by my blog and perhaps you would like to follow me also. Have a wonderful day. Hugs, Chris
http://chelencarter-retiredandlovingit.blogspot.com/
So beautifully said ~ parenting is hard, but the end result is so precious. Love the picture of your little girl ~ she shows the love you give!
wow – have I found your blog today – were you sent?? – Hubby has been working away for quite a while now and am balancing children, work, home, decorating, brownies, cubs, kickboxing, school plays – y’know the norm and am getting so tired and stressed when I have just cleaned and moppede the floor and the kids think its ok to come across said floor in dirty shoes, I stood and did 6 hrs of ironing (son had been away on school adventure trip) only to find some of it just dumped on the bedroom floor next day – I am sure you know what I mean – have been getting so worn out and so deflated – had a banging headache through it all last night – and tonight when looking through blogs I have linked to but not visited in a long while (no time) I find this amazing post = I just wanted to thank you xxxxxxxxx I love them like there is no tomorrow but reading this – stuff the housework I wanna go and fly a kite!! Thank you xxxx
i love you, christie
Thank you for this! I am in the same ‘season’ and being reminded of this is always good :)